No More Pain
by Mystifying Fog
Summary: Barney and Robin receive a devastating diagnosis. [Warning: Major Character Death] [One-shot]


**A/N: I had the idea for this one-shot a couple of months ago, and didn't really get around to writing it for a while. So, here it is. Thanks for reading. :)**

I grasped the platinum wedding band that surrounded my left ring finger, and twirled it around apprehensively; it had been situated in the same spot for nearly five years. I coldly stared at the taupe carpet that covered the living room floor. The house we had bought only two years ago seemed unusually quiet.

I sat in this chair during the exact moment that would change my life forever. Robin answered the telephone, and I saw her expression go from happy to sad within a matter of two seconds. Our eyes met, and hers were that of a forlorn person. We had been to the doctor only a few days prior to the call. They said it looked good for her; that the risk of cancer was less than five percent, but they had to check anyways. After hanging up, she turned to me, and said the six words that shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"I have six months to live."

Before I could fully absorb the shock, she began bawling. I moved over to sit next to her on the couch, and held her tightly. A few stray tears fell down my face. At that moment, I didn't know exactly what it was that would cause her inevitable death, but I had a lingering suspicion. She confirmed my worries when she relayed the news to me that she did have cancer, and chemotherapy wasn't going to help her at this stage. In half of a year, the love of my life would be dead, and I would be alone.

My white shirt drenched in her tears, I pulled away from her gently, and kissed her right below her wet eyes. I wished that I could solve this. I told her to make a bucket list, and put absolutely anything on it that she wanted to do. We had tons of money in the bank, and I wanted to make her as happy as I possibly could. She was not even forty years old, and she was going to die.

I kept the bucket list in a small, black frame that sat on top of the coffee table. It continued to haunt me whenever I caught a glance of it in the corner of my eye. She only had three things on the list, but it was still special to me. I stared at it, remembering how each of those wishes came true.

Her first desire was to go to Paris. She explained to me how she had never been there, to my surprise. I knew that she had been to so many places all over the world, and I found it odd that she hadn't been to one of the most famous cities. Almost immediately upon seeing the list, I booked a round-trip flight to France. We would leave in one week, and stay there for two.

The trip was very nice. We wandered around almost the entire city of Paris, and saw many sights. One day, I took her to the top of the Eiffel Tower. We even went to a couple of other towns in France. I sent a couple of postcards back to our friends in New York. I could tell that the trip had made her genuinely happy; and that in itself made me happy as well.

"You really didn't have to do this for me, Barney," she would say.

"I wanted to," I would always reply.

Her second request was to go home to Vancouver to see her family. She hadn't seen her mom and sister in years, and I knew this was important to her. Once again, I booked a flight, and we were in Canada only a month after I saw her bucket list. Her mom was incredibly happy to see her, and so was her sister. They both knew that this would probably be the last time they would be able to see her alive. They shared laughs and tears. I tried to set up an incredible dinner for the three of them, but they all insisted that I join them. I reluctantly agreed after a lot of begging from Robin, and reserved a table for four at an exquisite restaurant near Robin's mother's house. At one point during dinner, when Robin went to go to the restroom, her two family members said that once she passed on, they wanted to help me in any way that they could. It was nice to know that I was loved by my in-laws.

Robin continued to remind me, "You didn't have to do all of this for me."

Yet, I would always reply with, "Robin, don't worry about it. I'm doing this because I want to."

Her final wish was to die at home.

"This one might be hard to pull off... but I'll try my hardest," I told her.

"If you can't arrange it, don't worry about it, I'll be fine."

I sighed. "Look, Robin, I love you. I want you to be as happy as you possibly can be in the next few months. And if this is what you want, then so be it." She smiled, and I leaned over to lightly kiss the tip of her nose. I knew that it wouldn't be cheap to get all of the hospital equipment to the house for her final few weeks, but I reminded myself that we had tons of money saved up. I couldn't think of a better time to use it.

For the next few months, we were constantly going to doctors. Between new problems and regular check-ups, we were seeing them nearly every other week. The last time that we would have sex was three months before her supposed 'expiration date', as the doctors would call it. Seeing my wife get weaker and weaker as time progressed destroyed me inside. I could only imagine how she felt. It was obvious that she was trying to hide the pain, and be strong in front of me. She rarely cried when I was nearby, but if I was peeking out of the bathroom door, she would be writhing or crying.

When the sixth month began, she was so helpless that she could not walk. I had to carry her into the bathroom to use the toilet, and I helped her bathe herself as well. At this point, I would lock myself in the bathroom several times a day just to cry. I knew that she didn't have very much time left, and that I'd have to start making arrangements with the hospital to set me up with what she needed for her final days of life.

It was the very next day that Robin's doctor wanted to admit her to the hospital following her routine appointment. I immediately pulled him to the side, and attempted to convince him to let her die at home. Ultimately, it would be up to the hospital as well. Thankfully, they were very kind, and gladly helped me with Robin's final dying wish. Their agreement was most likely due to the fact that I was willing to pay thousands upon thousands of dollars out of pocket.

It was a chilly Thursday evening when Robin's nurse, Patti, came up to me.

"I don't think she's going to make it through the night."

As much as I tried not to cry, a few tears fell down my cheeks as I listened to Patti explain what was currently happening. As soon as she retreated to the guest room, I called Ted, and told him to be here as soon as possible with Marshall and Lily. I knew that Robin would want to spend her final hours with her best friends. When I went into the master bedroom, I saw Robin in bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. She turned to look at me when she heard me walk in. She was very pale, and didn't look well at all. I sat next to her in our bed, and stroked her hair. Our friends arrived within minutes, and the four of us stood next to her bed. We all talked to each other, as if nothing was wrong.

"Guys... you can go home now. I want to spend time with Barney," Robin requested. Ted, Marshall, and Lily didn't hesitate to comply. Robin motioned for me to climb in bed with her, so I went to change into some pajamas; I didn't want to ruin my suit. I got under the covers, and looked at her, smiling. She didn't smile back.

"I'm going to die tonight, aren't I?"

How was I supposed to answer that question? I didn't want to just tell her that she was probably going to die in a few hours, but I also didn't want to lie to her. While she would never know if I lied or not, I knew I would feel guilty for the rest of my life.

Luckily, I found a good reply fairly quickly. "What makes you think that?"

"I'm not deaf, Barney. I heard Patti talking to you out there. I'm going to die tonight, and you know it."

I blinked back tears as I pulled her into my arms. I held her tightly, and never wanted to let her go. I decided not to reply to her statement, so she spoke up again.

"I have one more thing on my bucket list," she said, looking up to me.

"What is that?" I questioned, meeting her gaze.

"I want to die here... in your arms."

I didn't reply to her request, but I strengthened my hold. I placed my chin on the top of her head, letting a few tears fall down my face. As much as this would be hard for me, it was what she wanted. One of my arms gently stroked her hair, and the other kept a strong grip around one of her arms and her back. Both of her hands rested on my chest. I felt a couple of tears on my shirt near where her eyes were. There was a heart monitor hooked up to her. The consistent beeping of it was annoying, but comforting, since it meant she was alive.

Nearly an hour after her final request, she softly called my name. Her voice was soft and barely audible.

"What, sweetie?" I asked.

"I love you," she stated. Before I had time to say anything in response, I felt her body relax in my arms. Tears streamed down my eyes; I knew what was happening. My fears were confirmed with the long beep from the heart monitor.

"I love you too," I said. I continued to hold on to her for several more minutes, before I finally called Patti in to let her know.

That was the worst day of my life, and the start of the worst year of my life.

Almost immediately following her funeral, I completely lost interest in my job, leading to me being laid off. I was put on a severance package, and I was living off of my unemployment paycheck, as my entire life savings had been used on Robin's final requests. I had no regrets about that, though.

I continued to spin my wedding band around my finger. I had kept it on for the entire year after her death; I didn't have the heart to take it off. For the past year, I remained secluded in my house for days at a time, only leaving to go to the grocery store. Ted, Marshall, and Lily tried numerous times to cheer me up, but it didn't work. Even the antidepressants that my psychiatrist prescribed me weren't helping. Everything reminded me of her, and I would cry constantly until my eyes ran out of tears.

I held the frame with her list in my hands. After her death, I wrote in her fourth and final request myself, and framed it. My grip tightened on it, and two teardrops fell on the glass sheet that covered the paper. I cried in anger. Why did this have to happen to me? Eventually, my rage overtook my judgment, and I threw the frame at the wall. The glass shattered into a million pieces. I ran my fingers through my hair, and spotted the piece of paper that sat on the table.

Earlier that day, I had gotten a letter stating that I was being foreclosed on. My unemployment ended last month, and I didn't have the motivation to get a job. Therefore, I was about to lose my house, as I could not afford my mortgage payment. My life was so fucked up. I was about to be homeless, unemployed, broke, and clinically depressed.

I walked upstairs to rummage through Robin's half of the dresser. I had kept everything of hers intact. I quickly found what I was looking for, and pulled out my cell phone. I only had a few minutes left on it, so I decided to use it wisely. I dialed Ted's number.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Ted."

"Dude, are you okay? You don't sound that great," he pointed out. As I was on the phone, I walked back downstairs. I stood in between the coffee table and the broken picture frame.

"Tell my family I love them," I simply replied.

"Barney... no! I'm coming over. Wait for me, please!" he exclaimed. Instead of answering him, I hung up the call, and blindly tossed the phone to the other side of the living room. I rushed into the kitchen to grab a pen and paper, and quickly scribbled four words on it.

_Ted,_

_I'm sorry._

_- Barney_

I placed the paper on the table next to the foreclosure notice, then collapsed on to the floor. I sat on my knees, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. Pressing the gun against my temple, I looked up at the ceiling to say a few words.

"I love you, Robin. I'm coming for you."

I looked back at the wall, and closed my eyes to brace myself for the imminent impact. After three final breaths of air, I pulled the trigger.

Before I could even hear the bang, I blacked out.

No more pain.


End file.
